Violence against women has been a hot topic lately. I think a lot of important points are coming to light. I also think some people are blowing things out of proportion.

In response to the outcry of violence against women #NotAllMen has emerged. I really want to say that it is stupid and unnecessary, but alas, I cannot do that.
I would think that most rational people know that not all men are abusers. Not all men are creepy. Not all men.

Unfortunately, there is a small subset of radical feminists who insist that it is all men. That even if a man doesn’t engage in predatory behaviour himself, he is guilty by virtue of being a man.
I don’t understand this mentality. Do these women not have fathers, brothers, sons, friends? Surely they have not been victimized by everyone in their lives.
How can these people justify labelling someone as guilty based on gender? Imagine the outcry if it was reversed. Or if it was based on skin colour or ethnicity, or the colour of someone’s eyes.

Maybe….maybe, it would be possible to argue that all men have, at some point, inadvertently made a woman uncomfortable. However, I imagine that the reverse is true as well – that all women have made a man uncomfortable at some point. I know I have.
And really, some of that can be remedied by building up the confidence of women. In almost all cases if you tell a man that his comment, actions, etc made you uncomfortable, he will apologize and stop.

Men are not monsters. We need to stop treating them as such.

Usually I lean towards the side of Men’s Rights over Feminism, as I don’t particularly like the way current feminism expresses itself. However, this thing in Atlanta is ridiculous. I will admit that I don’t really know the details, as I haven’t truly looked into it, but here are some thoughts based on my very limited knowledge.

It was a hate crime. He was targeting women because they were women. I don’t really think that is negotiable, so let’s call it what it is.
Unfortunately, I have seen some forum posts and articles from men complaining about this. Stating data that suggests that men are murdered at a higher rate than women. Yes, also a fact. But this isn’t a zero-sum game. We can look at this tragedy in isolation from others, it doesn’t mean that there isn’t a social problem that needs to be addressed (regarding men being killed). Why try to detract from this?
While I sometimes come off hard on modern feminism, misogyny still exits and we can’t ignore it.

“He was having a bad day.” What the fuck kind of bullshit excuse is this? I’ve had really bad days too and I have never gone on a killing spree.
That being said, I do think a lot of men/boys are sexually frustrated, which creates anger, which is then taken out on women. It is not up to women to give these type of men an outlet, but I do think our culture needs to change. Teenage sexuality exists, we can’t pretend that it doesn’t.

I am sorry for this fairly incoherent, uneducated rant. But I needed to get it off my chest.
This was a tragedy, can we please stop trying to piss on each other to see what gender has it worse?

I am not in America, nor am I American, but as the owner of a vagina I can’t help but pay attention to the fact that abortion rights may soon not be protected. Which is fucking insane! It’s 2020… I don’t understand how or why this is a fucking issue still. But, I digress….

Let’s talk about the reproductive responsibility of men.

I am well aware that it takes two to tango. An accidental pregnancy has life changing effects for at least two people, yet the woman is the only one who gets to have a choice about parenthood. I am not suggesting that a woman needs to have the father’s permission to get an abortion, that is fucking absurd. If a woman doesn’t want to go through pregnancy and/or birth, she has every right to make that choice. If the man wants the baby, that is unfortunate for him, but until men can create a tiny human that right belongs solely to women.

However, I do think men should be able to opt out of parenthood as well. Some of the logistics get a bit gray because I haven’t thought everything through yet.
Theoretically, I think men should have until the woman is 12 weeks pregnant to opt out of any parental responsibility – financial or otherwise.
Why 12 weeks? Because generally that is the point to where a woman can easily access an abortion.
I’d love to say up to 20 weeks, but late-term abortions can be difficult to acquire. So that being said, there may be cases in which a man is able to opt out up to this point.

What about the cases where the man isn’t aware of the pregnancy until after the birth of the child?
Honestly, I don’t know. I told you…. I haven’t thought everything through.

I have presented this argument to people before who seem to brush it off with, “well, you would think differently if it happened to you.”
No. I wouldn’t. Do you know why I know this? Because it happened to me.

My kid was an accident. Her father wanted me to get an abortion, I couldn’t do it for my own reasons (although I am 100% pro-choice, and have gone with friends to have the procedure done). He didn’t want the baby, but I could force it on him and at the very least he would be partially financially responsible for this child for 18 years.
That didn’t sit right with me.
So, I told him that he had until I was 12 weeks pregnant to decide. If he chose to leave me, then I would raise the child by myself and not ask anything of him. Although I did say that if/when the child asked about their father I would provide his information to the child.

I won’t lie, it was a stressful week or two, but I had made my choice and it was only fair that I gave him time to make his.