Can we stop labelling ‘X’ behaviour as cheating?
Flirting with other people is not inherently cheating.
Kissing other people is not inherently cheating.
Fucking other people is not inherently cheating.
No behaviour is inherently cheating. Some people consider watching porn cheating; others let their partners fuck other people.
Cheating involves crossing a pre-negotiated boundary and/or some type of deceit.
I am in an ethically non-monogamous relationship that is getting dangerously close to becoming a non-hierarchical polyamorous relationship. Years ago, there was an incident where my partner had sex with another woman, but did not use protection. I felt like he cheated on me. One could argue that he did cheat on me; having sex with others was well within our boundaries, but not using protection was not. He crossed a line and I felt betrayed.
He never lied to me. He admitted his mistake. And we moved on.
So, personally, I believe that cheating always involves some level of deceit. Lying is bad! Lying creates a break in trust and that is hard, (but not impossible to repair).
I am so fucking sick of reading articles about “micro-cheating” and if he/she is doing “this thing” you are likely being cheated on. Fuck that. I hope my partner is out flirting with other people; I hope they have friendships with people of the opposite sex!
Which gets me on the topic of “emotional affairs.” What the fuck is that? I mean, I can maybe buy it if there is some level of sexual energy, but for the most part it kinda seems like an emotional affair is the same as being besties. Again, it comes down to deciet… if my partner was hiding the emotional connection from me I would feel betrayed.
Well, that is enough of a rant. I got a bit worked up and apologise that this may not be the most coherent post.