How many of you clicked on this prepared to be angry? Yeah, it’s a shitty clickbait title, but hear me out…. There is a weird, pervasive belief in our culture that this is true. Despite claims to the contrary, current social climate suggests that women are incapable of making their own decisions.
I’ll admit, I don’t have the time or energy to research many of the topics that I write about, I like to write anecdotally. It is a bit of a weakness, especially since I am often trying to convince people to see my side of things… I accept that. One thing I am always telling people is that just because something is being portrayed a certain way, doesn’t mean it is that way – the vocal minority is often the loudest, but it doesn’t always represent what most people think.
So, on that note, I will admit that this may be me getting irrationally angry at the vocal minority and maybe most cases don’t go this way – God, I hope that is the case.
Back to why men are cognitively superior to women…..
Consent. Why can men consent when they are drunk, but women can’t? I don’t mean if a person had been drugged, or given alcohol without their consent, I am referring to times when a woman chooses to consume alcohol to the point of intoxication. While intoxicated, this woman decides to have sex with a man she just met. Consensual sex.
The next morning, she thinks she made a mistake… she isn’t the type to have one-night stands, or maybe she just doesn’t find the guy physically attractive. As far as I am concerned, she had regrettable sex; she made a stupid decision while drunk.
However, it seems that in today’s social climate it is A-okay for this woman to claim that she was raped. That she was drunk, and therefore could not consent.
Maybe there are situations where this is true.
Was she passed out?
Was she so drunk that she was incoherent and about to pass out?
Was she very drunk while he was completely sober?
If the answer to all of those questions is “no”, then she is capable of consenting. This seems especially true if the guy was also drunk – did they rape each other? If he regrets his decision in the morning, no one suggests that she took advantage of him! So what makes men cognitively superior that they are capable of not only consenting to sex while drunk, but being responsible for ensuring that the woman is sober enough to consent herself.
This whole belief that women can’t consent when they are drunk infantilizes and disempowers women. It makes the assumption that women don’t have agency over their own behaviour.
We have all made stupid choices when we are drunk, but that doesn’t mean we are incapable of making good ones.
I have had regrettable drunk sex. It was a learning experience.
I have had people tell me that I was raped because of this…. First off, don’t victimize me. I am not a victim, I don’t feel like a victim, I am not traumatized. Let me experience things the way that I want to experience them. Secondly, people equating my shitty decision making to rape invalidates the true victims of a horrific crime.